Krisha

There is a reason why the South Koreans call their capital city Seoul – because it is city of soul mates, seriously. Traveling to this city with three other girlfriends on a group study exchange, we learned early on that not being a twosome at times meant you’re solely at a disadvantage. Strolling down the heavily hip center streets of the city, every restaurant is packed with couples, feeding each other and giggling over the menu. Public parks are covered in every corner with sweethearts stealing smooches – away from the watchful eyes of parents who pray in nearby temples trusting that their youngsters outside are on their best behavior. On the walkways along the romantic Cheonggyecheon Stream, the new hot tourist spot beneath the artistic bridges that connect the roaring traffic above, lovers wander hand in hand past local street musicians amongst the dramatic lights at night. In May, the city celebrates Buddha’s birthday with a giant street parade complete with floats with dragons and golden statues. As my girlfriends and I shuffle through the crowd and try to find a restaurant with a window-view facing the action, we notice a welcoming sign: “Twosomes…Come enjoy!” Okay, we get the picture.

So how did we navigate through Korea without male traveling companions? We smiled a lot. We also learned local customs to try and blend in. During our visits to Korean provinces such as Yangpyeong, Gapyeong, Namyangje, Guri and Hopyeong, we observed how men and women interact.

Our first stop was the Samsung headquarters in the office park of Seocho-gu. Koreans are very cutting-edge with their innovation; their flashy gadgets and slick cellphones are displayed all over the inside the building. Both men and women dress sharply and greet you for a tour with an all-businesses attitude. However, no matter how progressive they are in the workplace, it seems that after work, the traditional male and female gender roles kick in at the dinner table. The men largely doing all the ordering of multiple side dishes, shabu-shabu meats and exotic seafood like sea urchin and octopus. No one at the table serves oneself anything to drink except water. The pouring of drinks, including Cass and Hite beer and the local ‘vodka’ Soju, is done by the host. The person pouring uses one hand, usually the right, and the other hand lies on the right arm or across the chest. You, in turn receive the drink by placing both hands on the glass and lowering your head, almost in a bow. This ritual is a sign of respect and gratefulness.

Once you are full, you can stand up only after your host does (did I mention most likely you’ll be eating your meal on the floor cross-legged?) and walk to the exit. The big thing is to remember to put your shoes back on heading out. Koreans do not permit anyone in their houses or Korean-style restaurants with shoes that have touched the ground outside.

The rules are even clearer at Panmunjeom, The DMZ. This is the physical area where the United Nations and U.S. Army protect the line separating North and South Korea. We were strictly warned not to chew gum, make any gestures such as pointing or reaching, attract attention to ourselves with loud voices or laughter or even wear designer clothing. Anything we did along those lines could be photographed or targeted as propaganda and used by the North Koreans. South Koreans and the U.S. military are very particular about these rules to insure your safety. Upon exiting the North Korean border (which we crossed for about six minutes) you’re not allowed to look back.

We felt a little more at ease at the outdoor markets because that’s where women take the lead in finding a good bargain, especially at the Insadong or Myeongdong markets. These crowded bazaars present opportunities to play your best hand at striking a deal with the most bizarre vendors selling trinkets, chopsticks, pottery and jade. If you’re good, word gets around and everyone wants a piece of your action. Whether it comes in the form of your money is another story (sometimes shopkeepers are known to take jewelry, cigarettes or the clothes off your back in exchange for their items), but all is fair game when it comes to a good trade.

If you need to take a break following all the customs of Korea, you can jump into a cab to Itaewon. More ex-pats, service men stationed in Korea and foreigners hang out here and English is widely spoken. All the cues, accents and food are recognizable, and you’ll feel at ease watching America’s finest two-step to country while other single travelers – men and women – join you on barstools winking with familiar cues while you smile back, drinking a cold one – which you poured for yourself.

Originally published in NRV Magazine

So, are you feeling a little naughty tonight? You wanna dance, and then turn those moves into romance? You wanna chill, and then maybe indulge in a steamy new thrill? We can’t guarantee you’ll achieve your passionate fantasies, and we’re definitely not going to order up brazen behavior, but here’s a tip: Your perfect nightlife experience, whether it results in meeting a match or going home alone, may not necessarily be about your game but more about where you play it.

Here are some suggestions based on location. It’s up to you to use them as you will. ~Krisha Chachra

SkylineTwo: Casual conversation gets you nowhere in this upscale lounge party, every first and third Saturday of the month at The Hanohano Room of the Sheraton Waikiki. This celebration sizzles on top of Waikiki, so it is only fitting that you be on top of your game. Here, beautiful people carefully choose accessories that dazzle as brilliantly as the skyline outside, so it’s important to be just as selective when you approach someone. This is not the best place to get to know someone but a great place to find someone to get to know. The sophisticated crowd is tight, and everyone is attractive enough to be watched, so don’t fire before you aim. No one coming to this party is getting dolled up just to be second fiddle. Find someone and focus in. If you strike out, enjoy the view and dance with your friends. But if you strike gold, reserve a table for two, or take off and get to know your hook-up someplace more intimate. After all, the romance of the beach is right below.

Lewers Lounge: The perfect spot for early evening cocktails or after-dinner drinks, Lewers Lounge makes gazing into each other’s eyes possible. Designed like the backdrop of the classic show “Masterpiece Theatre,” Lewers at the Halekulani is an intimate club setting with live music nightly from resident artists performing smooth jazz on keys or brass. The signature drinks, elegant appetizers and oversized couches set the stage for one-on-one intimacy. Not a late-night joint, the entertainment lasts until 12:30 a.m. on weekends and will inspire you to make your own sweet music with someone else. Most people show up in couples, so once you hook your choice, come to Lewers to hear their voice. Easy on conversation, this swanky cocktail bar compels couples to get to know each other better and helps to furnish the finer points of a relationship: good communication.

Pearl: Former Ocean Club partner Beau Mohr and Alvin Yeh created a lustrous location in the Ala Moana Center; it has quickly become one of the city’s hot spots. The spacious nightclub has plenty of everything — dancing, drinks, seating, standing room, locals and tourists. With three fully loaded circular bars, two offset from the music and dance floor, Pearl is glamorous like Las Vegas, without the airs. The crowd is filled with energetic people who are there to talk to you, even if it’s only to tell you where to go. It is easy to make eye contact with prospects under the gigantic shimmering chandelier, and even easier to get to know them in the seclusion of a corner booth. Take a chance on someone; if your natural charm doesn’t work, get lost in the dance floor crowd. Surely someone will appreciate your moves there.

Aaron’s: A new Friday and Saturday nightclub at Aaron’s Atop the Ala Moana serves drinks, dinner and lighter fare all the way to 4 a.m. With Aaron’s we have a new player on the scene — and no, we are not talking about you. Aaron Placourakis and former Maharaja club owner Peter Maharaj (whose middle name happens to be Aaron) have teamed up to produce an experience that coaxes lip-locking and romance. With a spectacular night view of Honolulu, the Friday fireworks show and high-rise condos where people are doing what you hope to be at the end of the evening, Aaron’s has plenty of cozy, intimate booths offering bottle service that will uncork inhibitions and keep the conversation flowing. The music and the trendy scene will be background to your hook-up, who will be eager to spend some alone time with you.

Originally published in the Honolulu Advertiser